Sunday, 13 May 2012
The last 3 nights I have had bad dreams. Of Karagh and cancer. I hate that I have to use those two words in the one sentence!! So wrong. I know its over but its never actually going to be over. Its going to hang over us FOREVER. I dont know why but the last few days the word "relapse" is in my head. All day every day. Thats probably why I'm having these bad dreams. I am terrified its going to happen and I don't know how to get it out of my head. I am dreading Karagh's scans in June in case its bad. But in a way I'm looking forward to them to put my mind at ease again for a few weeks. 3 months in between scans is a long time. Every time she cries I think to myself is she alright? Is the cancer back? Its a nightmare that will just go on and on.